GWing Ghost Stories
by Wing-chan
Summary: Bad attempts at horror, there is no real horror, unless awful narrators scare you (chapter 10 is up!) WuFei and Relena bashing.
1. The begining a.k.a. Heero's turn

DW: I do not own any part of Gundam Wing. Do not sue. I do however, have a nice fake glowing fire and a package of lunchables to make smores.  
_______________________________  
GWing Ghost Stories  
  
DW: Kon'nitchiwa! Welcome to our first episode of GWing Ghost Stories! I have gathered the boys here to provide us with some entertainment. Each week one of the GWing boys will tell a ghost story. We'll go in order and start with Heero.  
  
Heero: Hn  
  
DW: Please?  
  
Heero: .....  
  
DW: I'll give you back your gun.  
  
Heero: Oh, all right *everyone is sitting around in a circle, with a fake fire in the middle* Once...there was a dark house. And there was a man in the house. He sat down to his laptop and started typing.  
  
Duo: -_-; wonder where he got the inspiration  
  
Heero: Hn. The man heard a noise so he walked into the hallway where the sound emitted from.  
  
All except Heero: *eyes widen*  
  
Heero: Standing before him was a hideous, horrid, disgusting ghost.   
  
All: *eyes widen more*  
  
Heero:The man took out his gun and shot the ghost. He returned to the room and finished his typing.  
  
All: -_-;  
  
DW: That was great!  
  
Heero: Can I have my gun back now?  
  
DW: Um... no. Anyway, thank you everyone for putting up with this episode of GWing Ghost Stories! Next week, it's Duo's turn. Until then, sayonara. 


	2. Duo's turn

DW: I do not own any part of Gundam Wing. Do not sue. I do however, have a nice fake glowing fire and a package of lunchables to make smores.  
_______________________________  
GWing Ghost Stories  
  
DW: Kon'nitchiwa! Welcome to our second episode of GWing Ghost Stories! I have gathered the boys here to provide us with some more entertainment. Today it's Duo's turn.... -_- I can't wait.  
  
Duo: And what does _that_ mean?  
  
DW: Exactly what it sounded like. Now tell your story!  
  
Duo: Alright, ok, since you're all dieing to hear a _good _ghost story unlike some people's *coughheerocough* I'll tell ya my great one!  
  
Heero: I heard that.  
  
Duo: Yeah... well..... um.... Once there was a house! Yeah, a house! And in this house there was a cat, but that's beside the point. There was also a penguin, which was kinda weird 'cause penguins don't normally live in houses. I should know cause I tried to keep one as a pet. I named him Dave, and he was kinda cute.  
  
<20 minutes later>  
  
Duo: ...so the guy told her in Sweedish. But since she didn't know Sweedish she didn't know what he said, even though she told him that-  
  
Everyone except Duo: *is asleep*  
  
Duo: HEY!  
  
All: *slowly wake up*  
  
Duo: Now I'm gonna have to tell it all over again.  
  
All: NOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOO  
  
Moomba: Well, while everyone is busy screaming-  
  
Bunny: or watching people screaming-  
  
Moomba: What the heck are you doing here?! Get out of here, only _I_ can steal the spotlight!  
  
Bunny: *hangs head* oh *walks off*  
  
Moomba: Well, come back next time for when ~my~ Quatre will be telling a wonderful story!  
  
Bunny: Actually, it'll be Trowa's turn.  
  
Moomba: What did I tell you?! *chases after Bunny*


	3. Trowa's turn

DW: I do not own any part of Gundam Wing. Do not sue. I do however, have a nice fake glowing fire and a package of lunchables to make smores.  
_______________________________  
GWing Ghost Stories  
  
DW: Hello again, this is your hostess DragonWing with yet another episode of GWing Ghost Stories. Today it's Trowa's turn. Well, let's start.  
  
Trowa:.........  
  
DW: Well?  
  
Trowa:.........  
  
DW: Please?  
  
Trowa:..........  
  
<20 minutes later>  
  
Trowa:..........  
  
DW: Oh come on! How am I supposed to have a good fic if you don't talk?!  
  
Trowa:..........  
  
DW: It's over! My life as a writer is ruined! I'll never be able to show my face online ever again! *sniff,sniff* This is almost as sad as losing all of my Hikaru Midorikawa mp3's! (for those totally dense, he does the japanese voice of Heero)  
  
Moomba: Oh please, you only had four of them!  
  
DW: But they were all so special to me!  
  
Bunny: It's not that bad.....  
  
DW: For **_you_** maybe!  
  
Quatre: *pats DW on the back* It'll be alright.  
  
DW: I don't want your sympathy, go comfort Moomba or something!  
  
Quatre: Um.... ok *goes to "comfort" Moomba*  
  
Moomba: QUATRE! *mauls Quatre*  
  
Bunny: Maybe that wasn't such a good idea.  
  
DW: I DON'T CARE ANY MORE!!!!  
  
Bunny: Here ya' go Dw *hands DW her polar bear plushie*  
  
DW: *grabs it**sniff, sniff*  
  
Trowa:..........  
  
DW: Oh shut up you!  
________________________________________  
  
Narrator: Will Trowa ever tell his ghost story? Will DragonWing destroy her polar bear plushie from stress? Will Quatre ever escape Moomba's grasp? Will DragonWing ever regain her lost mp3s?  
  
DW: YOU SHUT UP TOO!  
  
Narrator: Join us next time for another episode o-  
  
DW: I SAID SHUT UP!!!!


	4. Trowa's turn (continued)

DW: I do not own any part of Gundam Wing. Do not sue. I do however, have a nice fake glowing fire and a few candles..... heh.....fire.  
  
Dedication: I would like to dedicate this episode to my friend Bunny, whose comment on me "typing like Heero on caffeine" helped me finish this chapter in record time. Also, Happy b-day Bunny! If it weren't for your party I couldn't have finished this.  
_______________________________  
GWing Ghost Stories  
  
Narrator: Last time o-  
  
DW: I SAID SHUT UP!!!!!! I can't handle this type of rejection, I CAN'T DEAL WITH THIS!!!!  
  
Moomba: Stop crying, you're embarrasing me.  
  
DW: WELL SORRY!!!! *hugs her polar bear plushie*  
  
Trowa:......  
  
Bunny: You should be careful with that.  
  
DW: ..... *sniff*  
  
Bunny: If you're not careful with that Dw, you might-  
  
DW: *squeezes her plushie so hard it's head pops off**eyes fill up with tears* WHAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAA  AAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAA!!!! I KILLED IT!!!! NOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOO!  
  
Trowa: That's really pathetic.  
  
The remaining pilots who were outside (Heero, Duo, and WuFei): *run into the room*  
  
Duo: He speaks!  
  
Moomba: I know *snaps fingers** go's over to DW and pushes her over to Heero*  
  
DW: *attaches herself to Heero's arm*  
  
Moomba: Problem solved!  
  
Trowa:.....................I'll tell my story now.  
  
All: *ready themselves*  
  
Trowa: ...................................................................................................................................................................................................................................................................................Boo..............................................................................................................................................................................................................................................................  
  
Duo: Wow Trowa, that must have been the longest you've ever spoken for.  
  
Quatre: You're throat must hurt, I'll get you something to drink *walks into the kitchen*  
  
Moomba: WAIT FOR ME QUATRE!!!!! *runs after Quatre*  
  
Narrator: Next time on *gun shot can be heard in the background* OW MY EYE!!!! *falls down stairs that magically appear* OW *stair* UGH *stair* CRAP *stair* UF *stair* AH *stair* SON-OF-A *stair* *hits the floor, dead*  
  
Bunny: DW!!!  
  
DW: *still attached to Heero's arm* I didn't do it I swear!  
  
Moomba: *peeks her head out of the kitchen* Next time on GWing Ghost Stories Quatre gets to tell his story!


	5. Quatre's turn

DW: I do not own any part of Gundam Wing. Do not sue. I do however, have a nice fake glowing fire and a few candles..... heh.....fire.  
_______________________________  
GWing Ghost Stories  
  
Bunny: Well, since someone killed our narrator.   
  
DW: THANK GOD!  
  
Bunny: I will be taking over the position again. Today on GWing Ghost Stories Quatre will tell his story.  
  
Moomba: YEAH!!!!  
  
DW: -_-; Uh, yeah.  
  
Quatre: Um, ok. Here it goes. Once there was a happy land. It was called the "Happy Land of the Bunnies and Duckies". And so one day they..... they...... it's too awful to say!  
  
DW: Oh please.  
  
Moomba: It's ok Quatre, you can say it.  
  
Quatre: O-Ok. They....THEY RAN OUT OF TEA!!!!!  
  
DW: And there it went.  
  
Moomba: QUIET YOU!  
  
DW: It's my fanfic.  
  
Moomba: Oh, that's right.  
  
DW: Anyway..... um......  
  
Quatre: THEY RAN OUT OF TEA!!!!!!!!!  
  
DW: Can we get some help out here?  
  
*Men come out with a straight jacket, tie Quatre up, and take him away*  
  
Moomba: NOOOOOO! QUATRE! *runs after him*  
  
Bunny and DW: -_-; Ok.......  
  
Bunny: Next time on GWing Ghost Stories, WuFei tells his ghost story.  
  
DW: I think our ratings are going down.  
  
Bunny: Can you blame them?  
  
DW: Not really, but hey wait! I made a mistake!  
  
Bunny: Really? Our ratings aren't going down?  
  
DW: ^_^ They're so low they can't possibly go down any more!  
  
Bunny: -_- That's a good thing?


	6. WuFei's turn

DW: I do not own any part of Gundam Wing. Do not sue. I do however, have a nice fake glowing fire, 1 candle, and a small box of matches that I am enjoying playing with.  
_______________________________  
GWing Ghost Stories  
  
DW: Since our ratings are down.... this may very well be our last episode. I would like to say that this will be a very special episode, for myself included, but I'm afraid I cannot.  
  
Bunny & Moomba: Why not?  
  
DW: -_- WuFei's telling it.  
  
All three: *nod in distress*  
  
DW: Please don't leave, dear reader, for I will have.... um.....  
  
Quatre: I can serve them tea!  
  
DW: That's great! If you stay you can have tea with Quatre! *Moomba glares* And Moomba.  
  
Moomba: ^_^  
  
DW: Please.... PLEASE don't leave!!!! WuFei's about to start.  
  
WuFei: Ghost stories are for the weak.  
  
DW: TOO BAD!!!! YOU'RE TELLING A FREAKIN' GHOST STORY OR I'LL TAKE AWAY YOUR NATAKU MODEL!!!!  
  
WuFei: *hugs "Nataku"*  
  
Bunny: Dw's scary when she's mad, eh?  
  
Moomba: When isn't she mad?  
  
Bunny: Good point.  
  
Moomba, Bunny, and all readers: *sit down at Quatre's table and have tea*  
  
DW: OMAE O KUROSU!!!! *is chasing WuFei around with a katana*  
  
WuFei: Weak onna! *hides behind the couch*  
  
DW: I'll show you whose weak! *cuts the couch in half.... as well as WuFei* That's better. *sits down with everyone and has tea* Well, farewell until next time, which just might be never!  
  
All: *wave goodbye*  
______________________________________________  
  
Please give R&R! If I don't have at least 10 reviews before Tuesday, I'm stopping the series. We haven't even gotton to the other "non-main" characters! R&R NOW!


	7. Relena's turn

DW: I do not own any part of Gundam Wing. Do not sue. I do however, have a nice fake glowing fire, 1 candle, and a small box of matches that I am enjoying playing with.  
_______________________________  
GWing Ghost Stories  
  
DW: WOW! Look at those reviews! 10 of em' by Monday! Looks like we'll be on for a few more episodes.  
  
G-boys: -_- hurray  
  
DW: And it's so much nicer now without WuFei calling me "woman" all the time.  
  
Moomba: Well Dw, you _are_ a girl.  
  
DW: Hn  
  
Duo: Well, I could start sayin-*has a gun held up to his head*  
  
DW: I wouldn't try it  
  
Duo: Meep! *starts backing away*  
  
DW: Anyway, thanks to all those reviews we get to continue. And against my better judgement I'm letting Relena into this room. But we gave her a warning: Go within three feet of Heero or myself (I hate her guts as much as he does) we get the pleasure of shooting her.  
  
Bunny: Could I have her limo?  
  
DW: Oh alright. But don't keep it around me, I'll spray paint it. Anyway, *yells to Moomba* BRING HER OUT!!!!  
  
Moomba: *comes out with a crate holding Relena** slowly opens the crate*  
  
Relena: *walks out of the crate** sees Heero and jumps on him*  
  
DW: Darn I was hoping I wouldn't have to do this....... no wait....... never mind *shoots Relena*   
  
Bunny: I get the limo! *runs outside*  
  
Moomba: I get Quatre! *jumps on Quatre ~again~*  
  
DW: Well, um, guess that's it for today's episode. I'd like to give a special shout-out to Lera for reviewing and helping me with Chapter 5! And one to Sikira, I love my new gun! Thanks Kyoti-chan for a nice early b-day present! Guess that about wraps things up here.  
  
Moomba: What about your disclaimer, you forgot it.  
  
DW: Hm.... that is a problem. BUNNY, GET'CHO SELF IN HERE!  
  
Bunny: *pokes her head in* .....?  
  
DW: Say the disclaimer for us.  
  
Bunny: Oh alright. DragonWing does not own anypart of Gundam Wing. She does own a GWing dvd and a very large cage.  
  
DW: That's crate, Relena didn't deserve a cage!  
  
Moomba: And you couldn't afford one.  
  
DW: Hn.  
  
Bunny: BYE!!!!


	8. Zechs's turn

  
Me no own GW, no sue.  
  
______________________________________________  
  
DW: Yet another episode of GWing Ghost stories. I'll do my shout-outs right now.... Thanks Jay, and  
I'll have the pic ready ~hopefully~ soon ^_^; Thanks to those who have reviewed since the first  
chapter (ya know who ya are). Thanks to my friend C.Cow for help with naming chronic illnesses. And  
thanks to Nayru Moon for a nice boast of confidence from another Relena hater. One problem though-  
  
Bunny: What's that Dw?  
  
Moomba: Oh boy....  
  
DW: Heero's mine.... and don't you forget that!  
  
Both: -_-;;  
  
Moomba: Who ever saw that one coming raise your hand.  
  
Bunny, Moomba, and all of the pilots: *raise their hand*  
  
DW: *death glare* *cough,cough* Anyway.... on to the story. Since we lost our last guest in a freak  
accident *coughyeahrightcough* we have invited a new guest. Um.... Millard- no that's not it. Um,  
Zech- no that's not right either....  
  
Zechs/Millardo: May I suggest the name Wind. Suitable for one who puts out fires.  
  
DW: Wind makes fires burn quicker baka! Chronic Stupidity must run in the family.  
  
Zechs/Millardo: Um...... sorry..... Zechs is fine.  
  
DW: Alright then, onto the story.  
  
Zechs: But Millardo is my real name......  
  
DW: DEAL WITH IT!!!!  
  
Zechs: Meep!  
  
Duo: I'd tell your story, before she gets mad.  
  
Zechs: *eyes widen* You mean she's not mad?!  
  
Duo: *shakes his head sympathetically*  
  
Zechs: *eyes widen more in horror*  
  
DW: WELL?!  
  
Zechs: Ok, um..... well..... ah......  
  
DW: What is it now?!  
  
Zechs: I've never told a ghost story before.  
  
DW: THEN MAKE SOMETHING UP!!!!  
  
Zechs: *is shaking in fear*  
  
Heero: And he doesn't even know what happened to WuFei....  
  
WuFei: Ghost stories are for the weak!  
  
Quatre: But WuFei.... you're dead.....  
  
Treize: So am I!  
  
Trowa: .....  
  
DW: GET OUTTA HERE BOTH OF YOU!!!! I DON'T NEED ANY GHOSTS HANGING AROUND HERE!  
  
Heero: Well, it is a ghost story.  
  
DW: *blinks* oh, right..... well ah.....  
  
Bunny: For once she doesn't know what to say.  
  
DW: I know what to say. Quatre, how the heck did you get out of um..... wherever you were?  
  
Quatre: Moomba bailed me out.  
  
Moomba: Now I'm broke! NOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOO *breath* OOOOOOOOOOO  
OOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOO *sniff* I can't buy the picture of Kuja now.  
  
Duo: Who's Kuja?  
  
DW: You don't wanna know. Trust me.  
  
Moomba: I wanted to wake up every day seeing his face.  
  
DW: I think that would cause severe heart attacks to anyone else.  
  
Bunny: Stay tuned next time for yet another episode of GWing Ghost Stories, our guest'll be Hilde. 


	9. Hilde's turn

  
Me no own GW, no sue.  
  
______________________________________________  
  
DW: Yet another episode of GWing Ghost stories. How am I able to keep this going?  
  
Moomba: There's no story?  
  
Bunny: It's just you yelling at everyone?  
  
Duo: It takes no talent to write something like this?  
  
Trowa: I-  
  
DW: OK, OK, I get the idea!  
  
Hilde: My turn today! Ok, my story! Ok, First there was a pretty girl. And this pretty girl had a  
boyfriend who had a big long braid.   
  
Trowa: I think she's dropping hints.  
  
Hilde: And so, one night while the beautiful girl was making a steak dinner for her amazing   
boyfriend while he was watching tv. Then, the-  
  
Heero: It sounds like she's just replacing the adjectives.... she could be more original.  
  
Hilde: Fine mister Know-it-all.... *picks up a dictionary* the superfluous boyfriend-  
  
Heero: -that's not an appropriate adjective for the noun you're describing, it would be used for  
words such as-  
  
Hilde: yeah yeah yeah, you're worse than my English teacher!  
  
Heero: You sure need one.  
  
Hilde: Why you.....  
  
All others: GET BACK TO THE STORY!!!!  
  
Hilde: Oh, right.... Anyway, as I was saying.....  
  
Heero: Incorrectly  
  
Hilde: AS I WAS SAYING! The boyfriend heard something in the kitchen,  
  
Quatre: Wouldn't it be hard to hear something with the television on?  
  
Hilde: Maybe it WASN'T VERY LOUD.  
  
Heero: Unlike you.....  
  
Hilde: AS I WAS SAYING-  
  
Heero: -Incorrectly  
  
Hilde: GRRRRR....when he went in his girlfriend was gone, and all that was left was the pot she  
was using to cook.  
  
Heero: And why would she need a pot if she was making a "steak" dinner?  
  
Hilde: MAYBE IT WAS A SIDE DISH!!!!  
  
Heero: Hn  
  
Trowa: Maybe it was...... *shudders* soup.....  
  
All: *shudder*  
  
Hilde: IT WASN'T SOUP!!!! AS I WAS SAYING-  
  
Heero: Incorrectly  
  
Hilde: AAAAARRRGGGGHHHH!!!!!! *stomps out*  
  
DW: Um.... someone needs to finish the story.....  
  
Duo: He ate the soup.....  
  
Trowa: .....which he later vommited-  
  
Heero: -and died from....  
  
Quatre: ....when the girlfriend came back she apologized, because....  
  
Duo: ......she got hungry while she was cooking.....  
  
Trowa: ......the awful soup......  
  
Quatre: ......she saw the boyfriend.....  
  
Heero: ....and commited suicide......  
  
DW: ....The end!  
  
Moomba: Wow.... you finished one.  
  
DW: What do you mean one? Heero and Trowa finished theirs too.  
  
Both: *smirk*  
  
DW: Therefore you must-  
  
Moomba: Um... no  
  
Bunny: BYE EVERYONE!!!! 


	10. Cathrine's turn (kinda) a.k.a. Zech's tu...

DW: Whoo hoo! After many a month I'm back to my humorous (and somewhat  
lame) series!   
  
Bunny: DW, why didn't I get to kill Hilde? You got to kill Relena AND  
WuFei....  
  
DW: And my sword needs to be cleaned-  
  
Moomba: I can't imagine why.... with cutting through a couch *and* a  
person.  
  
DW: Oh please! I clean it more often then that. I used it as a steak  
knife two weeks ago and left it in the kitchen.  
  
Bunny: Pretty please! I'll be your bestist friend!  
  
Moomba: So why isn't it cleaned yet you lazy bum?  
  
DW: Let's just say I don't have a kitchen anymore... it's a bacteria  
breeding hole.  
  
Bunny: Pretty please with sprinkles, cherries, waffles, and cheese on  
top!  
  
DW: Anyway, on with our story! Oh, and in advance, there is cussing in  
this chapter... not alot, but for those of you who would be offended  
please be warned.  
  
~-~-~-~-~-~-~-~-~-~-~-~-~-~-~-~-~-~-~  
  
Chapter um.... you know.. the one with the number... and stuff  
Catherine's Turn  
  
Cathrine: Hi Everyone!  
  
All: ........  
  
Cathrine: Fine! Be that way! *walks off*  
  
Duo: Well would ya look at that, looks like we won't get to sit through  
a story this chapter.  
  
Trowa: What a shame.  
  
DW: Aw come on guys, I'm sure I can come up with ~something~ on such  
short notice.  
  
Heero: It isn't going to involve puppets, is it?  
  
DW: Lucky for you guys, probably.   
  
Quatre: I like puppets....  
  
Zechs: How about I tell a ghost story now?  
  
Pilots (save Quatre... and WuFei [who's still dead]): Please Lord YES!  
  
Zechs: All right.... this story is based on events in real life. Once  
there was a cruel she-demon who trapped five unusually good looking guys,  
and one not so good looking one, into a hell hole. She then proceded to  
make them tell stupid stories for other peoples entertainment.  
  
DW: I don't like where this is going...  
  
Zechs: After a few of these awful stories she killed the not so good  
looking guy, and made the rest keep telling stories. She threatened to  
put them in a former kitchen-turned-bacteria-breeding-farm.  
  
DW: Alright, alright fine! Enough! Someone's asking for an ass kicking!  
  
Zechs: Aw crap.  
  
DW: Then the demon decided she would lock the loud mouth pilot into a  
room with many a fan girl.  
  
Zechs: You wouldn't.  
  
~*Later*~  
  
*Zechs can be seen with his face smashed against a glass wall while  
dozens of fan girls glomp him*  
  
DW: Never underestimate the power of an angry writer with too much time  
on her hands and a part time job. I could afford to rent that glass box  
for a week. *evil smile**turns to the other 4 pilots* Anyone else want to  
challenge my say?  
  
Pilots: *shake their heads* No way.  
  
DW: That's what I thought.  
  
Moomba: This is Moomba and Bunny signing off for today's crappiest  
installment of GWing Ghost Stories!  
  
Bunny: *chasing Hilde* Come'ere you!  
  
Hilde: AH!!!!  
  
DW: Tune in next time to hear Dorothy tell her story.  
  
~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~  
  
DW: Uh oh Moomba...  
  
Moomba: What now DW?  
  
DW: We forgot to put in the disclaimer again.  
  
Moomba: Then put it in you fug.  
  
DW: Fuglier!  
  
Moomba: Fugliest!  
  
DW: Your the fugliest fug that ever fugged!  
  
Moomba: *gasp* How- could you!  
  
Bunny: We don't own anything... except the rights to the word fug,  
which is NOT a bad word. Ok, no we don't... but we do got bacteria!  
Aren't they cute? 


End file.
